Cheska Tatiana Ridzuan
Accelerate your career though my embarrassing mistakes, jokes that never landed, and lessons shared from leaders
Lessons from a Young Executive
In the absence of a mentor or a strong role model, I hope these stories help you navigate and develop your own balanced foundations to lead teams with grace, empathy, pragmatism, foresight and insight but most importantly:
Humanity
The largest segment of workers are moving from junior to leadership positions, and before I knew it, it was my turn.
My first try at team leadership was a spectacular failure.
But the lessons I learned the hard way, don't need to be taught the hard way
About Me
For seven years, my focus has been on performance management and project implementation. In that time, I found more fulfilment in ticking the checkboxes at work than in the people around me.
Now, my drive comes from wanting to see my team members—and myself—grow. I find myself excited to absorb life lessons from clients and teammates. This is what propels me to excel in my work.
Striving for excellence in this field requires a wholehearted approach—mind, emotion, and intuition.
Unfortunately, this isn't always rewarded in the industry.
This website is a reflection of my journey, a work-in-progress just like me. Here, you'll find my most important lessons and biggest mistakes, ready to help you on your own path of growth.
Stories
Circular growth
Branding a 'Zero'
I developed a 4-step workbook to develop an honest, accurate (and still flattering) brand for myself as a middle manager.
During my initial performance evaluation in 2023, I received feedback about the importance of shaping my personal 'brand.' This advice triggered a series of awkward attempts at refining my LinkedIn profile, where the words I penned felt oddly disconnected from my true self.
It Felt 'Fake'
I grappled with the notion of crafting a personal brand that wouldn't come across as disingenuous. Could my brand truly reflect the leader I aim to become? Yet, would it not also be a distortion of the person I am in this present moment?
Drawing a Blank at: Who Are You?
I came to an unwelcome realization that I was clinging to values and beliefs that once held profound sentimental significance, but had now lost their relevance. This posed a significant challenge as I tried to capture in words who I truly was, what principles I held dear, and what my purpose encompassed.
And in Response I Created a Solution
After nearly 9 months of dedicated research, I finally arrived at an answer that brought me a sense of peace: At this juncture in my career, my brand is the embodiment of the values, principles, and tangible accomplishments. Authenticity, I found, is the cornerstone of a genuine brand.
To get the best value, I recommend doing this with a friend. This workbook has been tried by 20 close friends, ex-colleagues, coworkers, and family members so far.
Honest Networking
You'll come to find that my articles centre around finding out what certain corporate words mean, and how to actually do these things in real life. That's because I come from a long line of blue collar workers and self employed family members who naturally implemented all of the corporate jargon, but without having to say "I'm networking!".
Breaking down the obvious for those who might not see it (like me)
A large portion of my realisations have been to piece the puzzle pieces together, despite them being in different boxes.
Networking is one of them. A long-time mentor (who unfortunately no longer works with me) said, networking is all about what you can offer. Be generous, and don't expect it to come back, but people will remember you as someone who value adds. That eventually comes back (and it does).
Yet, even with this knowledge, I struggled to genuinely connect with these individuals beyond fulfilling my perceived obligations (I'll explore this more in another piece).
Then, something unexpected happened—during a game of Padel and while watching a TikTok video, I remembered that I felt closest to a group of people when we experienced things together, not just talked about them later.
This year, I've embraced this concept, widening the circle of people I engage in activities with. It's not just my usual companions, but also friends and networks I hold dear and want to maintain a connection with.
In the end, authentic networking means sharing experiences with others, not just exchanging greetings from time to time. Life's shared moments hold greater value than a million emails.
Culture Stops and Starts with You
My mistake was to think that, a culture is what I contribute to, instead of something I actively drive
During my year abroad, I joined a fresh team in a new country. Little did I realize two crucial aspects that led me to neglect the team culture:
- Each team member influences and is influenced by the team's culture.
- Not speaking out against disagreeable behaviors contributes to the team's culture.
This oversight left me with a heavy feeling of failing the team dramatically. In hindsight, I recognized that I did my best given my limited experience. At that time, I was a novice in team management and didn't grasp the responsibility of handling team emotions.
The culture I was accustomed to functioned like this: I assigned tasks, individuals managed their emotions, and I assessed their work. I later understood this was a far cry from effective team management.
I transitioned from believing I had no role in team culture development and should let it evolve organically, to believing I was solely responsible for the culture. When even that approach failed, I surrendered. I compiled a list of reasons, excluding myself, for why the team wasn't ideal.
News flash: Do not do that.
Putting all the blame on external factors prevents you from recognizing what you can actually influence and change, versus the systemic problems arising from the organization you're a part of.
Hindsight: Always 20-20
After my initial leadership experience, I've adopted a practice of always posing the following questions when joining a new team:
Pro-tip: Address these as a group during your meetings. If your team is anxious and requires a clear project scope before anything else, consider discussing these after the technical briefing, and vice versa.
Step 1: Getting to know the team
Motivation
- What's on your mind going into this project?
- What drives you when you're working on a project?
- What types of opportunities, activities, or affirmations keep you motivated?
Preferences
- What type of communicator are you? Do you reply promptly or do you reply during scheduled slots?
- How do you prefer to receive feedback? Would you like me to be direct, or frame it as a positive affirmation?
- How do you prefer to give feedback?
- When working in a team, how would you describe your ideal working conditions?
Emotional Safety
- Is there anything you experienced in a previous engagement, that you would like the team to avoid in this engagement (my favourite response to this has been: "I'd like for my team members to tell me upfront if I have committed an error, as opposed to them gosipping about me to the firm")
- What are your fears or concerns going into this project? How can I help manage them?
Personal Goals
- Is there anything you would like to try out or learn through this engagement?
- Is there a goal you are chasing in your personal life which will be directly impacted by the timing of this project?
Step 2: Setting team norms, together
Step 3: Reminding the team of corporate expectations
My essential lesson about 'culture begins and ends with you' revolves around the necessity to establish team norms right from the start, collaboratively with your team.
I trust my teams with the responsibility to define their own concept of a 'safe space' for our collective work. By aligning on team norms early on, the team gains the authority to identify and address behaviours harmful to our unity. This approach avoids placing the manager in a 'policing' role, preventing the emergence of a culture rooted in blame and accusation.
Here are the questions I pose to my team:
- What are the team norms that you believe will create the happiest and healthiest work environment for us?
- What behaviors will you not tolerate?
Take a close look at your role within your organization, as well as your proximity to decision-making and your ability to shape the company's direction.
If, similar to my situation, you find yourself firmly placed in middle management, recognize that you might operate within a structure where your influence is limited.
For the sake of both your team's well-being and your own, it's crucial to remind them that while you'll do your utmost to honor their collective objectives, missions, preferences, and norms, there are corporate expectations that lie beyond your sphere of control.
Step 4: Trust your team, and re-navigate as necessary
Create spaces within your team to foster positive behavior. Encourage the kind of behavior you want to see again, be open about your own learning experiences and what changes you'd like to attempt.
Most importantly, gently guide the team when mistakes occur. For instance, you can say, "To double-check X, consider running Y in case you have any doubts" or "You tried something new, and it didn't go as planned. That's okay, but what did we learn, and what's our next step?"
These steps may seem demanding and require a significant amount of radical transparency and vulnerability from you as a leader. However, I assure you that these efforts are well worth it.
It’s (really) not that personal
“Look at them, bonding over their hatred of me”- Oliver Putnam
If you ever find yourself in a leadership position, its important to understand that your inner voice is not always your friend. Our monologues are deeply influenced by years of reacting to classmates, friends, and unsavoury characters which sharpened our ability to react to (perceived) disrespect.
In a junior role at work, I have on more than one occasion rolled my eyes or kept a deadpan face despite the efforts of a lead to lighten an already heavy mood. The expectation was always, ‘they’ll know how to speak to me. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be the boss’.
I must also point out that it’s so easy to not realise the transition between ‘I hope I make it obvious enough that I’m unhappy’ to ‘why won’t they have more sympathy for me?’ when you transition into a team leadership position.
There will, undoubtedly be moments where your team will be tired, upset, and speak to you in a way that’s unnecessary. But the earlier you realise that its not personal, and its not against you, but a sign that they’re hurting, or need something addressed, the better you will become at identifying the underlying issues that affect them and the team around them.
As a new leader, I had wished that someone told me the following sooner:
- People will speak to you however they want to. How tactful they are is out of your control. As a leader, you need to be able to rise above the tone, the facial expressions, and the exasperation to only answer the words that are being said to you. Respond to the words, and leave the rest.
- Whatever comment you give, cannot be as a result of you releasing your frustration at them (even if you say you would have done better at their age / rank / position). All advice given needs to be given for their genuine benefit, which also means delivering it in a way that your teammates will be receptive to. Pro-tip: Tough love does not work.
- Complaining is poison. Your mood and outlook heavily dictates the mood of the team. Complaining should never be adopted as a tool to connect yourself to your teammates. While they will bond with you over expressing their feelings of frustration, its your role to work towards, and to be seen as someone who works towards finding solutions.
Circular Growth
The issue with thinking that you’re going in circles, is the fact that you think its an issue.
Many companies have a system where they measure how good you are at your job as you move up from lower-level positions to higher ones. This means you have to learn new skills, and not all the skills you learned earlier will still be useful because someone else might do that job.
The issue with this system is that it can make you feel stuck or like you don't deserve credit for your work when things seem to repeat themselves. You keep doing the same tasks as you go up the ladder, and sometimes it feels like you're making the same mistakes over and over again.
D
C
B
A
IIn a linear model, we often think of progression as moving from point A to B to C. This way of thinking can trap us, especially in work settings where there are people both above and below us in the hierarchy, further reinforcing this belief. When I was a junior consultant, I used to judge my progress by comparing myself to those above me, viewing their skills as something to attain, like earning a prestigious scout badge.
However, true growth happens when you shift to a circular model, where you can spot new opportunities even in situations that seem repetitive.
Designing growth loops
Circular growth is like an endless journey where you keep going around and upwards. It's when you look back at past experiences, figure out how to do things better, and then use those improvements. Sometimes, we mistakenly see this as being stuck in a rut. But in reality, some of our biggest moments of growth come when we step back and ask ourselves how we can make the current process even better for better results.
The first step in this battle is realizing that circular growth exists. The second step (which is just as challenging) is creating your own circular growth model. This model helps you learn how to learn by creating a feedback system that lets you keep getting better. Here's what mine looks like for tackling complex problems:
- Learn or observe something new (from mistakes, books, podcasts, or others' mistakes).
- Write down what I noticed and list a bunch of questions.
- Find answers to those questions and bounce them off others for feedback.
- Use the refined version to connect with new people.
- Learn new things from their responses and keep improving my initial observations.
Creating your own growth loop has two levels of complexity. The first level involves taking action, getting feedback, and making changes within the same loop. The second, more complex but also more rewarding level, involves taking feedback and integrating it into your own way of learning. This considers how you learn, where you get information from, and how you can apply it to other things you're learning.
Action
Mental
Model
Feedback
Learning how to learn
Identifying your mental model can start with the following questions:
- When do you have the most new ideas and insights? Make sure to set aside time for this in your daily schedule.
- What helps you remember things better? Is it using acronyms, associating lessons with music, or some other method?
- How can you remind yourself that success is about the journey, not just the end result? The best way to learn a new approach is to try it out and share it with others.
Remember, the goal is personal growth, not just winning. Once you create your own growth plan and make a game out of challenging your own mind, you'll likely find yourself more motivated and happier in your environment.
Designing growth loops
Circular growth is like an endless journey where you keep going around and upwards. It's when you look back at past experiences, figure out how to do things better, and then use those improvements. Sometimes, we mistakenly see this as being stuck in a rut. But in reality, some of our biggest moments of growth come when we step back and ask ourselves how we can make the current process even better for better results.
The first step in this battle is realizing that circular growth exists. The second step (which is just as challenging) is creating your own circular growth model. This model helps you learn how to learn by creating a feedback system that lets you keep getting better. Here's what mine looks like for tackling complex problems:
- Learn or observe something new (from mistakes, books, podcasts, or others' mistakes).
- Write down what I noticed and list a bunch of questions.
- Find answers to those questions and bounce them off others for feedback.
- Use the refined version to connect with new people.
- Learn new things from their responses and keep improving my initial observations.
Creating your own growth loop has two levels of complexity. The first level involves taking action, getting feedback, and making changes within the same loop. The second, more complex but also more rewarding level, involves taking feedback and integrating it into your own way of learning. This considers how you learn, where you get information from, and how you can apply it to other things you're learning.
Action
Mental
Model
Feedback
Learning how to learn
Identifying your mental model can start with the following questions:
- When do you have the most new ideas and insights? Make sure to set aside time for this in your daily schedule.
- What helps you remember things better? Is it using acronyms, associating lessons with music, or some other method?
- How can you remind yourself that success is about the journey, not just the end result? The best way to learn a new approach is to try it out and share it with others.
Remember, the goal is personal growth, not just winning. Once you create your own growth plan and make a game out of challenging your own mind, you'll likely find yourself more motivated and happier in your environment.
The Discipline in Downtime
Have you ever delayed your leave, once, twice, maybe seven times because you don’t
‘deserve it’?
During our more junior roles, we could afford to relax after client meetings, shedding the professional facade with teammates. However, in managerial positions, the luxury of unwinding with the team diminishes.
Now, all eyes turn to you for insights on challenging client meetings and to address anxieties about project developments. Without a rested mindset fostering empathy and problem-solving skills, you risk appearing like you simply do not care about the teams’ wellbeing.
Managing burnout is crucial, and our own ability to do so is often the obstacle. In a recent performance session, a senior shared the struggle to rest when first becoming a manager, a sentiment likely resonating with many: 'I'll rest after this project' or 'I've handled more.' While manageable in junior roles, burnout affects our attentiveness and care for our teams.
Common thoughts during burnout, like "I can handle it, so can they," or dismissive comments, reveal the toll. Burnout blinds us to our teammates' fatigue, morale issues, or motivation problems, leading us to neglect our managerial duty to ensure optimal team functioning.
I has asked my senior on managing burnout, and the advice was simple yet effective: schedule breaks regularly, upholding the discipline of leisure even when you don’t think you ‘deserve’ it.
I am deeply aware that taking leave is a privilege, but if you have that luxury, schedule one-day breaks every two months. This provides long weekends for you to do what you must to feel like a whole person again.
The lesson here is: Consistency in downtime matters more than one extended vacation a year. Five-one day leaves throughout the year will surpass your one-week vacation (where clients, bosses, and teammates will continue to hound you down).
If you still doubt that you need to take this leave, ask yourself if you feel a pang of jealousy or bitterness when a colleague comes back from leave.
Coming soon